Good morning, friends! We’re in week 5 of our I AM series in the Gospel of John. This series is based on the most important question Jesus ever asked—and still asks us today which is “Who do you say I am?” As we look to answer that, we can find ourselves in the Gospel According to John. One unique feature of John’s Gospel is the seven ‘I AM’ statements—where Jesus reveals that he is Yahweh and shows us who he is. We’re going to focus on the fifth I AM statement today – I am the resurrection and the life.

A few months ago, we were having a really hard time with Lucas sleeping through the night. Depending on your parenting philosophy, you’ll either understand or judge me in this next sentence. But, we practice the cry-it-out method in our home which means that kids need to learn how to soothe themselves even if that means they cry for a LONG time. One night, when we were especially tired, I can remember Lucas wailing around midnight. I did the natural thing and prayed to God asking: “Lord, please help him to calm down so I can sleep, er I mean, so he can sleep.” Did Lucas calm down? No, he took that prayer as a challenge and ramped up his crying efforts. Eventually, Katlyn got up and fed him. Then, he slept.

So, the Lord didn’t respond to that simple, groggy prayer. I wasn’t too disappointed about it. But, what happens when we are disappointed in God with something more serious than a night time interruption? What happens when we start to question if God cares or why he’s letting something happen? Like a cancer diagnosis? Unexpected death? Job loss?

You’ve likely prayed for something and it’s felt like God has been silent which leads to doubts. In John 11, we’re going to move through a story that follows two sisters who loves Jesus but who were deeply disappointed in him. In this story, Jesus wants us to see something profound which is: Jesus meets your deepest doubts with his compassion and power. That means your pain isn’t ignored or brushed under the rug but it’ll be dealt with by Jesus.

Will you stand if you’re able as we read John 11:17-44?

Our Deepest Doubts – Tension

Now in this story, there is pain in Mary and Martha’s life. I want to pull some of these details out so you can grasp the situation with me here: Lazarus was sick up to the point of death. Their family was likely wealthy (Mary had the pure nard in chapter 12 and tons of people came to Lazarus’s funeral) so they could have afforded a great doctor. But, they realize the severity of their situation and know they need a miracle which is why they try to get Jesus to come but he’s far away, at least a day’s travel. Why is Jesus so far away?

Bethany is close to Jerusalem just two miles away. In chapter 10, when, Jesus was last in Jerusalem, the religious leaders attempted to murder him by stoning him. So, Jesus and his disciples away from Jerusalem into what’s known as Perea where John the Baptist was active in the early days. Mary and Martha would have known that the religious leaders tried to stone Jesus but they’re desperate. So, they ask Jesus to come – even if he may be seen by those who want to kill him. And Jesus comes.

But Jesus didn’t make it in-time. Lazarus died. As Jesus arrives at their home, Mary and Martha have different responses: Mary stays home at first but Martha goes. Martha and Mary both say something similar to Jesus: “If you had been here, Lazarus would not have died.” They both affirm that Jesus is powerful and he could have done something if he was there. Martha does go a step further and expresses the belief that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God. Martha illustrates this tension of being disappointed by God but also still believing in who he is.

In expressing those feelings, Mary and Martha reveal their heartbreak. Some of you are carrying pain and hurt like that right now. Like Mary and Martha, we’ve asked our own questions of Jesus: where are you? What are you doing? Why did you answer that prayer but not this one? Don’t you care? Are you really in control? Is all this evil in the world really going to be dealt with by you? We’ve been disappointed by the inaction or silence from God, at least from our perspective.

But underneath all their grief are two primary questions though:

1.      Jesus, do you even care?

2.    Why are you letting this happen?

And if you’re honest with yourself, you’ve thought these questions as well. Yes? Thankfully, Jesus shows us that he has more than capable of responding to these doubts we have.

Let’s take the first question: Jesus – do you even care?

Jesus, do you even care?

As I said at the start, the main truth of this story I want to convey today is: Jesus meets your deepest doubts with his compassion and power. So, what Compassion mean? Compassion literally means “to suffer with” and that’s exactly what Jesus does in this story, in two particular ways:

1.      He came and listened: Jesus knows he’s close to Jerusalem and as I shared, there are people in Jerusalem who want him dead. With a funeral like Lazarus’s it’s not a small thing, it’s a big one – likely made up of some people who will go tell the Sanhedrin what happened (this then happens at the end of chapter 11). Despite the risk to his life, Jesus came. And when he gets there, he listens to Martha and Mary. As they express their sadness over what happened, Jesus doesn’t rebuke them or yell at them to say: you just need more faith, get over it. He patiently listened to their pleas even though he was going to raise their brother back to life. Friends, Jesus was not afraid of Mary and Martha’s questions, he welcomes your questions too and is not afraid of them. After Jesus listened though, his heart breaks and…

2.    He wept. Do you see the humanity of Christ in this story? He was so deeply moved, he wept. There’s earthly chaos in this story: dozens of people wailing and crying, Jewish people wondering aloud why Jesus didn’t prevent Lazarus from dying, a lost friend and brother, and a grieving pair of sisters who Jesus deeply loves. But going deeper, there’s spiritual chaos in this story: Jesus has come face-to-to face with the result of sin, death. And he weeps over it. He weeps because this isn’t how his world is supposed to be. He grieves the sad things we go through because he himself has gone through them too and knows what it’s like.

If you’ve ever wondered what that compassion feels like, I’d recommend checking out The Magician’s Nephew: the first book in the Chronicles of Narnia series. The book primarily follows a boy named Digory who witnesses the creation of Narnia through Aslan’s power. Now, Digory’s mom is extremely sick and dying. While seeing the power of Aslan, Digory begins to make the connection that perhaps Aslan could save his mom’s life. Towards the end of the story, Aslan is sending Digory on a mission to pick an apple from a special garden that Aslan needs. As he’s being sent out, Digory and Aslan share a breathtaking moment…

“Are you ready?” said the Lion.

“Yes,” said Digory. He had for a second some wild idea of saying “I’’ll try to help you if you’ll promise to help my mother,” but he realized in time that the Lion was not at all the sort of person one could try to make bargains with. But when he had said “Yes,” he thought of his mother, and he though of the great hopes he had had, and how they were all dying away, and a lump came in his throat and tears in his eyes, and he blurted out:

“But please, please – won’t you – can’t you give me something that will cure Mother?” Up till then he had been looking at the Lion’s great feet and huge claws on them; now, in his despair, he looked up at its face. What he saw surprised him as much as anything in his whole life. For the tawny face was bent down near his own and (wonder of wonders) great shining tears stood in the Lion’s eyes. They were such big, bright tears compared with Digory’s own that for a moment he felt as if the Lion must really be sorrier about his mother than he was himself.

“My son, my son,” said Aslan. “I know. Grief is great. Only you and I in this land know that yet. Let us be good to one another.” – Pg. 153 and 154

As Diggory heads into the garden, the witch attempts to convince Digory that he should abandon Aslan and use the apple for himself to save his mother. Sound familiar? But, Digory does something that we can all learn from…

“Digory never spoke on the way back, and the others were shy of speaking to him. He was very sad and he wasn’t even sure all the time that he had done the right thing; but whenever he remembered the shining tears in Aslan’s eyes, he became sure.” – Pg. 179

My dear friends, that is the heart of Christ on full display in C.S. Lewis’s story. Digory’s story tells us something profound: knowing the heart of Christ doesn’t remove suffering – but it does help us endure it differently. It doesn’t mean we’re thriving or even happy but it becomes bearable because we know the heart of Christ. So when you feel tempted to doubt : “Is God for me?” “Why is this happening to me?” “Why isn’t God responding to my prayers in this way?” Look to John 11 and see the weeping Christ – who weeps with you today. I know of some very real and hard things going on right now and I can promise you that there are going to be very real and hard things in the future. But, what I can promise you from this passage is that Christ has compassion for you. Do not allow your doubts to overwhelm you – instead, head to John 11 and see his heart for you and the suffering you’re in.

So John 11 shows us clearly that Jesus cares — he came, he listened, he wept. But Mary and Martha — and if we're honest, we — still have a second, deeper question...And J.D. Greear once said: I don’t just need a compassionate friend, I need a conquering hero. So, what is that second, deeper question?

Why are you letting this happen?

Here’s what’s unsettling about this story. Jesus could have prevented this but he didn’t. John shows us that Jesus loved Mary, Martha, and Jesus so when he heard the news that Lazarus was sick (he was actually dead by the time they got the news), Jesus waited two more days before leaving to go help. Why in the world would Jesus do that?

Jesus tells us in verse 15 and 40 that he waited so that the full glory of God would be displayed and as a result, the disciples would have their faith strengthened. Why would waiting do that?

By day 4, there was no doubt that Lazarus was truly dead. And over the course of those 4 days, Mary, Martha, and everyone else who mourned Lazarus felt the enormous weight of death. Their grief would have been overwhelming, especially because they believed in the power of Jesus – the same Jesus who helped the paralytic walk, the blind see, and the lepers healed. They would have been asking: why are you letting this happen, Lord?

Since we already talked about how Jesus cares, let’s head to verse 38 afterwards where a mood shift happens in the story. It says Jesus is “deeply moved.” That means Jesus is is indignant – he’s righteously angry. In the original language John used, deeply moved suggests a holy fury towards the intrusion of death into God’s world.

Jesus is angry because he sees how death has robbed his friend Lazarus and he’s compelled to do something about it. He’s righteously angry because Jesus knows things shouldn’t be this way but they are. He’s righteously angry because at this present moment, death had its victory. He’s righteously angry because there is unbelief in the crowd. But, Jesus is the only one who has the authority and power to do something about it. Leslie Newbigin in his commentary on this passage explained it this way: “Jesus was facing that power which he had come to destroy, a power which is met by the wrath of him who is the author of life, but which could only be cast out when the author of life took the whole power of death upon himself.” So, what does Jesus do after arriving at the tomb?

He asks them to move the stone and Martha expresses dismay and doubt. “Lord, there will be a stench!” Jesus responds by saying if she believes, she will see the glory of God.” Jesus prays and then calls in a loud voice: “Lazarus, come out!” Early church tradition held that Jesus spoke with such authority in this moment that if Jesus didn’t specify by saying Lazarus’ name, every tomb in the whole world would have emptied.

And the craziest part of this story is that Lazarus did indeed come out, alive and well. So after Lazarus is alive, I want you to imagine the joy: do you hear the shouts of joy and exclamation at this moment? Do you hear the “I can’t believe this is real” moments? Do you hear the sorrow transforming to joy?

But, this miracle comes at a cost. You see by heading to Lazarus’s funeral, Jesus sealed his fate: chapter 11 goes on to detail how the resurrection of Lazarus was the final nail in the coffin for Jesus. The Sanhedrin used this moment to justify that Jesus was dangerous and deserved to die. The raising of Lazarus is the final ‘sign’ of John’s Gospels and signs point or direct us to something, right? What does this miracle point to? It points to Jesus’ own death and resurrection.

Scripture tells us that the wages of sin is death, meaning we are born in sin. We can’t help ourselves and we don’t want to submit to God’s lordship. Because of that, we choose a path that leads to death and separation from God. That’s what sin gives us, death – seems like a poor reward. You see, God hates sin and death – but we have sin and death in us. So, how can he destroy sin and death without destroying us? By pouring out sin and death on his very own son, dying for us. And just like Lazarus was laid in a tomb, so was Jesus. And just like Lazarus, Jesus didn’t stay dead but rather he came back to life – disarming the power and sting of death through his resurrection. It’s a powerful historical event and earth-shattering.

The effects of Jesus’ resurrection reminds me of the end of Return of the King (Book #3 of LOTR), the evil ring has been destroyed, and it nearly took Frodo and Samwise Gamgee’s life. They were injured and slept multiple days as they recovered. When Samwise finally awakes, he finds out that things are even better than he imagined they’d turn out:

“Gandalf! I thought you were dead! But then I thought I was dead myself. Is everything sad going to come untrue? What's happened to the world?"

A great Shadow has departed," said Gandalf, and then he laughed and the sound was like music, or like water in a parched land;”

So, why did Jesus let Lazarus’s death happen? Why did he allow his own death to happen? To begin the process of making everything sad come untrue. That doesn’t mean everything gets resolved for you. But it does mean that as the great resurrection and life, Jesus is working to undo the effects of sin and death. Revelation 21:5 records Jesus saying: “Behold, I am making all things new.” Jesus’ resurrection of Lazarus and himself show that he has the power to bring life from death and the power to bring something good from the worst things that have happened to us. And as we look back at our lives in the presence of Jesus, our toughest moments will be eclipsed by the joy of our faith turning to sight.

There is still an inherent mystery of our faith. There are still going to be times where we’re unsure what God is up to.

But here’s the thing: without God, suffering has no ultimate meaning or redemption.  But in light of Christ, our pain is never wasted and he’s promised to suffer alongside us. And when Christ returns, those momentary afflictions will pale in comparison to the eternal glories promised to those who are in Christ.

Paul David Tripp (Kidney Failure) – Inspiration

For Lent this past year, most of you read a devotional series written by Paul David Tripp and I hope they were a blessing to you. What you may not know about Paul David Tripp is he nearly died in 2014 from acute kidney failure. He talks about this in his book, “Suffering.” Over the course of a few years, Paul had multiple kidney surgeries and was in extreme amounts of pain for hours each day. He was doing dialysis, he couldn’t walk very well, and at the height of his career, he had to stop traveling and speaking. He still has the lingering effects of this and ongoing pain to this day.

Despite that, he wrote a little book called: “Suffering: Gospel Hope When Life Doesn’t Make Sense.” In it, he gives voice to the questions of “does God care about me?” and “Why are you letting this happen?” He had real pain, real reason to wonder about God, and instead he wrote the following quote that stuck with me:

“Your suffering is not a sign that you’ve been forsaken; rather, it’s a sign that you live in a world that doesn’t function the way God intended and is in need of complete renewal.”

To my knowledge, it’s one of Paul’s most well-known and sold books. So even in Paul’s pain, God is still able to use it for good by ministering to others who are suffering.

As the resurrection and the life, Jesus is the one who is ushering in that total renewal, my friends. For those of you in a season of suffering, you are not forsaken.

Now, how do you actually live this out? It’s great to know Jesus is compassionate and that he cares and he has purpose behind our pain.

Jesus asks Martha a question in verse 26 that cuts right to the heart of everything: "Do you believe this?"

Not — do you know why this is happening? Not — why aren’t you trusting me more? Just: do you believe this?

So let me ask you the same thing this morning. And I want to speak to two groups of people here.

If you're in a season of suffering right now —I want you to hear this: you don’t have to hide your questions from Jesus. Mary and Martha didn't. They walked straight up to him with their grief and their disappointment and said "where were you?" And Jesus didn't flinch or condemn them. He wept with them. He weeps with you.

So this week, I want to give you one simple, concrete practice: go home and read John 11 slowly. Not as a Bible study — as a conversation. Bring your name into it. Where Mary says "Lord, if you had been here" — let that be your voice. Let your specific hurt, your specific question, sit in that story. And as you do, look for the weeping Christ. Let his tears remind you, the way Aslan's tears reminded Digory, that he is not indifferent to what you're carrying. Then, if you're able, share what you're going through with a trusted friend this week. Suffering in isolation is one of the enemy's favorite tools. Don't let him have it.

And if life is relatively stable for you right now — things are okay, no major crisis — I want to gently say: this sermon was also for you. The Christian walk is not one of ease, it’s one of picking up your cross and following him. Suffering will come so are you ready for it? So do the same thing: read John 11 this week. Get familiar with this story now, while things are okay so you’re ready to face trials in the future.

For both groups — the hurting and the stable — here's the thing I want you to walk out of here with today:

Jesus meets your deepest doubts with his compassion and power. Your pain is not invisible to him. Your questions don't scare him. And because of his resurrection, not a single moment of your suffering is wasted. He is making all things new — and that includes whatever you walked in here carrying today.

So, like Jesus asked Martha: Do you believe this? Let me pray.